Why just saying “I want a boyfriend” is not good?

Why just saying “I want a boyfriend” is not good?

Towns filled with Christmas songs, and beautiful illuminations are shining. Or when colorful fireworks are in the summer sky with loud noise.

A season of cherry blossoms blooming, or when trees change their leaves to autumn colors…Seeing these beautiful sceneries and realize that you are alone. Don’t you think about having a beautiful boyfriend besides you?

Unfortunately, however, a boyfriend nor a good luck won’t be yours by just waiting.

Why don’t you have a boyfriend? How can you have a boyfriend? Let’s think about the reasons why just saying “I want a boyfriend” is not good enough.



Why just saying “I want a boyfriend” is not good?

 

-Aren’t you expecting too much?


For women who say “I really want a boyfriend, but I can’t understand why I can’t”, we often assume that they are “expecting too much”.

It is not for everyone, but as we listen to them more, many of them have a thought that “I don’t want to compromise on marriage”. Which means, they have very narrow “strike zone” for men.

Such people often take their “boyfriend” as father-like person. They are looking for perfect, desired man, and trying to find “a perfect father” throughout their life. Sorry for them, such person doesn’t exist in reality.

This kind of women are not independent from their father psychologically, and not only for close father and daughter relation, but it also happens to father and daughter of bad relation.

Taking these into consideration, it is necessary to lower the desire. It doesn’t mean to throw away pride, but to be independent from father, but it seems difficult for such women.

 

-Too cautious to get closer to?


Aren’t you keeping your guards up? Don’t you avoid getting closer to men unconsciously?

Even if you love someone, you always have a fear that you can’t be who you are if you get closer to him, and worried. You are afraid to be only thinking about him and can’t control yourself. As a result, you create a shell around you.

You are too afraid that loving someone seriously will avoid you from being who you are, and therefore quit getting closer to a person you love at the last moment.

However close to having a boyfriend, you stop yourself at the last moment, or even if you have a boyfriend it won’t last long. You can be said as extreme faint-hearted.

 

-Competing against men?


Some women hate to lose against men. It can work well if it is business, but such people have possibilities that they don’t like to lose in romantic circumstances as well.

You can possibly meet a good man for you and can be good partners, if your nature is shown obviously. However, if you are competing without notice, men might hesitate to get closer with you when you once try to be in romantic relation with him.

Don’t you have following experience? Going out for a dinner with him, and you say “I wanted to eat something different”. When he went a wrong way, you say “You should have turned right there.” Blame on him even though you have told him “tell me anything if something is wrong”.

Men basically hate to be interrupted by women, because being interrupted means they are not trusted, which makes them feel they are incapable.

Women who compete men think they should be a person to embrace men by instinct. Which is the result of too strong maternal instinct to raise him manly. This strength keeps men away from them.

 

-Evaluating yourself too low?


Aren’t you a person who is extremely unconfident of yourself, or have negative way of thinking and being pessimistic?

If so, you would always think “Is he really satisfied with me?” or “Does he really love me?”, even if your boyfriend really loves you. You can’t stop asking him his feeling over and over, and always feeling nervous.

At the base of your thought is a strong loss of confidence toward yourself, “Do I worth to be loved by him?”. That’s why you feel worried before feeling happiness when you become a couple with a person you love.

As a result, a man who loved you in the beginning can’t support your anxieties anymore, and walks away. And, you would feel “he didn’t really love me”.

What is more, you would take yourself as “a person without value to be loved by men”, or can’t get rid of negative thoughts, and repeat the same thing over and over.

You can see your face by looking into a mirror, but what if there is a mirror to your mind? Reactions of people around you are a mirror to your mind.

If you don’t have confidence and take things negatively, you would think you have offended him when he just happens to glance away. You would always be watching out for his reaction. Therefore, you become faint-hearted, and even a person who used to love you walks away from you.

 

-Being lazy to polish yourself?


Using foul language or uncleanliness are big factors of being avoided by men. Mind about them, as they are easy to fix with just a simple attention.

Women who don’t understand the meaning of the word “being popular with men” can’t be paid attention by men, because many women are misunderstanding the meaning of “being popular with men”.

It is also of course that you can’t meet new people if you don’t go out with friends and spend time indoors. If you are really expecting new encounter, why don’t you polish yourself, be confident, and go out?

 

-Being too passive or worry too much about men?


Some women are considered to be “Cinderella syndrome”. This is people who are afraid to go out to society even they are adults, and strong desire to stay child, and believing that “a prince on a white horse will come sometime if I wait”.

Desire for having a boyfriend often comes from perceived notion or misperception that they can be happy by just having a boyfriend. Unfortunately, we can’t avoid saying that it is very childish way of thinking.

Independent, grownup women know that the happiness should be created by themselves. They also have “preparedness” to be responsible for any results by themselves as well.

About private times, boyfriend, and all the more if it is their partners, that they need to be determined and accept that they have selected their partners.

The important thing is that people who don’t have matured mind, who are considered as “childish princess”, will not meet their “prince”. Which means, many men select women who can spend rest of their life together, instead of “princess”.

Sensing the atmosphere is a great thing to show consideration for others or to create comfortable atmosphere, but it is painful thing to deal with men, for women who worry too much about others.

Also, they tend to dedicate too much for men even if they go out with partners.

Such women prefer what other people think, rather than how they want to be. They sometimes don’t even know what they want to do or what kind of men they like.

They don’t understand themselves, so there is no way for them to know what kind of men they should go out with, and end up struggling to have a boyfriend.

 

-Afraid of expressing emotions?


Some people are not good at showing their honest emotions. They might be considered as cute women if others can understand that they are just being brave, but having a romantic relation is quite difficult for women who don’t show their emotions at all.

Also, women who show emotions too straight are not good at having romantic emotions as well. It is because they show their emotions not to express their true feelings, but to control others.

For example, be furious when sad, express anger with tears, cover up sadness with laughter, or hide jealousy.

They are not doing this on purpose, but unexpectedly. They might can’t recognize it by themselves.

Women who are not good at receiving people’s feelings can’t be delighted honestly to affection from men. They tend to say “I feel bad for being treated like this”, or “sorry for caring too much about me”.

This is a great difference between women who can easily have a boyfriend and who can’t. Everyone will feel happy when people overreact to show their happiness for receiving a gift or kind feeling, and make them feel that “it was good to offer them something”.

If you don’t make effort to tell others how happy you are, how you enjoy your life, and how you are happy, men can’t sense your feeling well. This will become a reason why you can’t have a boyfriend.

Which means, women who are afraid to express their own feeling will have difficulties to deal with men as well.

 

Hope you found this article interesting. Above were all about “Why just saying “I want a boyfriend” is not good?”. If you feel familiar to some of them, why don’t you make some effort, little by little, to alter your nature?

By just trying small things mentioned above, you might feel lighter, and be more optimistic. And, impression about you by men around you might change as well.

I hope the future will come to those of you who want a boyfriend, who want experience happy romantic relationship.

 

Summary

Why just saying “I want a boyfriend” is not good?

-Aren’t you expetcting too much?
-Too cautious to get closer to?
-Competing against men?
-Evaluating yourself too low?
-Being lazy to polish yourself?
-Being too passive or worry too much about men?
-Afraid of expressing emotions?